Is This Real?
by Ithy-chan
Summary: Fail title? Yes. 'Maybe this is all apart of my imagination... Maybe I'm not really falling face first into the ground, with love, for Arthur Kirkland, the most amazing guy in the world...' AU, OOC.
1. Chapter 1

_**PROLOGUE**_

There he was. He was as close as someone sitting right next to me, but yet as far away from my grasp as possible. He might as well have been on the opposite end of the earth.

He was very handsome. Short golden blond hair, big beautiful green emerald eyes that sparkle, every time I catch a glance. He has such smooth and soft looking skin. Those prominent eyebrows, which I find attractive because they make him, well him. He's the guy every other guy wants to be. The guy some hate out of jealousy. The guy all the girls want…

But most of all, he was the guy I cannot get off my mind.

He's been my friend since we moved here, when I was in 2nd grade. A friend of 10 years at the least, and he's about four years younger than I.

I don't think I've ever felt this way about a guy before. Growing up in a Christian home, I've been taught it is wrong to feel this way, but it feels kind of… right? It's an understatement to say that it's difficult to describe how I feel. I'm not sure how I feel.

Scared, Nervous, Ashamed? Maybe all of the above.

Am I really attracted to him, or is it some kind of deep admiration? Is this just a phase, a onetime thing? I want to talk to someone, but who is there to talk to?

I could say that I know when I'm with him I feel… Happy. He makes me laugh, and smile. I love it when he smiles. I love being close and near him. I want to pull him close and keep him there. When I'm around him I get butterflies. Oh those wonderful butterflies…

So there is some attraction, no? Then there's how far does this attraction go? I'm so confused, and lost in my own thoughts, but when I'm around him I feel like all this disappears and I'm pulled back up from the deep depth of thoughts I'm drowning in.

I don't know what to make of all this, so I try and suppress these feelings and thoughts. Should these feelings be there and true if I accept them, would he feel the same? Does he even like guys?

I'm not sure how to exactly ask him about something so personal…

Maybe this is all a part of my over active imagination. Maybe I'm not really falling face first into the ground, with love, for Arthur Kirkland, the most amazing guy in the world.

_**It's a start. I might leave it like this, not sure. Full of errors I'm sure. **_  
_**You could consider this a venting time, so definite AU, OC etc.**_

_**I'm a rather simple writer I would think. Not the best, but I do enjoy writing as a fun time passing activity. **_  
_**So Enjoy ~**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Yes. The first chapter was in Americas P.O.V, as this one will be.**

_Italics are thoughts._**  
Enjoy~  
**

I've come to the conclusion that thinking, especially over thinking, is officially damaging to the brain. It can't handle it. All it does is make you more confused and sick to your stomach.

I've gotten nowhere on the situation…

For every step forward, I take two steps back.

Maybe I'll treat myself to, well you know, a treat. Like coffee or somethin'. I just need some time to relax… Yeah… that'll fix me…

I drove subconsciously to my point of destination. My favorite café. Its downtown and is small and cozy. I always come here when I need to think or relax. The inside is nice and the color scheme is deep reds and browns, with small little splashes of color here and there. Beautiful paintings on every wall, and flowers centered on each table.

The place is always dimly lit, with slow jazzy music playing in the background.

I walked over and sat at my usual spot at the bar. I ordered my favorite coffee. I stared down blankly at the dark brown, polished wood while waiting, as I once again become hopelessly lost in my own thoughts…

'_When did these feelings start exactly?' I wondered 'ah hell… I don't know. What are these feelings? Love, crush, or bro_the_rly love? Nahh…'_

'_How long has this been going on now? On and off a couple years? A year? No. A couple months? I've lost track of time.'_

I groaned inwardly and then all time and thoughts froze, when by, the work of a mighty power, He walked in through those two giant wooden doors.

I couldn't move. My heart was beating a million miles a minute and I was frozen to my spot, except my gaze which followed his every move.

How creepy am I?

But I can't help it, he draws me in, then keeps me there.

I slowly start to notice that he's with a couple school friends. Nothing special… but I can't help but feel this pang of jealously that I'm not the one over there with him… I turn red, whether from a blush or anger I'm not sure, but I quickly look away.

Back to looking down at the table.

'_Wh_ere's _my damn drink?' I thought annoyed, and then I looked up 'oh, there it is.'  
_I quickly downed half.

_'Why do I feel so nervous, jealous, and am I anxious?' _I sighed… damn this cursed thinking.

I found myself sneaking a peak towards them and he happened to be looking my way. Our eyes met, and then he smiled, that oh so lovely smile, and waved at me.

I blushed, and smiled and shyly waved back. Knowing how long we've been friends, you wouldn't think I would blush… but I did. As bright and red as a cherry.

'_Wow it got hot in here'_

I quickly turned forward and chugged down the rest of my coffee. I slammed down the cup, paid my due, and I left.

'_Maybe some fresh air would do me good…'_

**I don't know how I feel about this. Oh well.  
I plan to have more interaction between them next chapter.**

**Also longer chapters too.  
Hope I delivered on this chapter. ~**


	3. Chapter 3

**I think I'm amused with this story. In the good way. I'm pleased with it, so I'm writing a lot more a lot faster. This doesn't happen a lot.  
**

**Enjoy~**

I finally decided to head home, and maybe take a nap. No better way to stop thinking than to sleep right? But after about thirty minutes of tossing and turning and absolutely no sleep, I decided to give up.

Moving on, I turned on the TV to see if anything interesting was on, nope. I remembered my brother, whatever his name is that I can't remember for the life of me, but he wasn't home either. No food, since no one's gone shopping.

'_Maybe that's where what's his face is… Matthew! That's it.'_

Then my video games are useless because I've already beaten them up to 15 times. Man, I suck at distracting myself. Then I heard the door bell ring.

I opened the door and saw my brother standing in the door way with someone I didn't quite expect to see… My eyes widened in shock.

I started panicking, so I started laughing like the idiot I become whenever I'm around him.

'_Artie…, I lose my cool when around you…'_

"What's so funny Alfred?" Arthur asked, smiling despite my crazed appearance.

I stopped laughing, sort of, "Oh hahaha… uhm, heh nothing, sorry… heh. I didn't expect to see you Arthur."

"Oh I was looking for fireworks, at the same firework stand he happened to be at." Matthew chimed in, "So I invited him over early."

"Oh cool." I smiled slightly.

"Well, I'm going to start cooking now." And with that, Mattie left me alone with Arthur. Should I be grateful?

~0o0o0~

I could feel Arthur looking at me, but I couldn't bring myself to look back up at him. I continued staring down at the ground, suddenly very interested in the design in the wood. I knew my face was growing redder and redder every second.

The silence… was awkward but thankfully Arthur quickly broke it.

"So Alfred, Why didn't you come say hello to me at the Café?"

'_was that a tint of disappointment I hear?' I thought hopefully._

"Well uh, you looked busy with your friends and I didn't want to intrude."

'_Did that sound convincing? Oh god…' I felt my face get 1,000 degrees hotter._

"Ah… Well you could never intrude Alfred. You're always welcome. I enjoy your Company."

A huge smile broke out onto my face. There was no way of hiding it. _'He enjoys my company? Aww so cute. If he's flirting, he does a better job than me.' I thought as something dawned on me…_

'_wait, is he… flirting?' _I took a deep breath, _'keep your act together Alfred.'_

"Well, I rather enjoy your company too, Arthur." _'Did I say that?'  
_Arthur's eyes, brightened? "Well, we'll just have to go out more together then huh?" he smiled.

Arthur threw his arm around my shoulder. I wanted to just pull him in and hold him, and never let go, but he started leading me towards the kitchen. "Come on; let's go help Matt out with the cooking."

~0o0o0~

As he pulled me along to the kitchen, I decided to buff up. I put a hand on his chest to stop him.

"Wait Artie, I need to talk to you." I wanted to seem serious, but I don't know exactly how well that came across… By his look I guess it worked out well enough.

"Oh alright, what is it?" he asked. "Let's go somewhere more private."

I shakily grabbed him by the arm and led him back to the den, and I closed the door.

"Okay well listen Artie, I'm not exactly sure how to say any of this… but I need to say it… Get it off my chest."

I was trying to keep my mind focused and keep my legs from collapsing. You can tell I'm nervous. I become shaky and I ramble. Arthur just looked on at me, patiently waiting for me to finish.

"I have been plagued by these thoughts for I don't know how long now. We've been friends for 10 years, and I can't say when this started, but it's been a long while now. Every time I see you, get near you, touch you, and look at you, my heart races. I feel sparks fly and life shoots through me. I hardly blush, but you've managed to make me blush more in one day, than I have in my whole entire life."

I paused, thinking about what to say next.

"I-I like you Arthur… hell I may even love you. I want to hold you close and never let go. You give me butterflies, and I love that feeling. A feeling only you can give me. There is so much to say, but I don't even know how to express it all. I've been so confused about these feelings. I-I don't even know if you feel the same, or if you like guys. What if I'm scaring off your friendship by-"

And then my eyes grew large, time stopped, and the earth stood still. All by one simple action. How he chose to silence me. By his lips pressed against mine…

**Hmm.  
Honestly I was torn whether or not to make this 2 chapters or keep it as 1.**

**So I stuck with 1, obviously.  
A lot of times I feel like I ramble, but at the same time I really like this story.**

**Reviews are much appreciated :3 as are suggestions and critiques.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Uhm: **_Italics are thoughts._

**This one is shorter, but this was the version of the chapter i liked best.  
und so natürlich, I picked it.**

'_Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god… is this really happening right now?'_

I prayed and hoped this wasn't some cruel trick of my imagination. It wasn't, right? It felt and seemed real enough.

So I let the moment, my feelings, and actions take over. I melted into his kiss.

'_Soft, smooth, warm, and he tastes of sweet tea. I like it… no, I love it.'_

There was only one word to describe the kiss, and that word was, _**Heavenly.**_

It seemed that kiss ended all too quickly... and we both had a slight pink tint to our cheeks.

"Adorable." I heard him say.

"W-What?" I asked slightly confused.

"You. You are adorable." He continued, "I love the way you blush, that I'm the one who can make you blush. The cute things you do when you're nervous. I love everything about you and everything you do, because that makes you, you."

I could only continue to listen and watch him speechless.

"It's about time, you stupid git, that you opened your eyes and realized, that I'm in love with you too." He finished with a genuine smile on his face.

A huge smile broke out across my face as I took everything in, and I pulled Arthur into a tight embrace, just holding him, and buried my face in the crook of his neck.

I apparently surprised him, because it took a second to hug back, but he held me too. Just as close.

'_This feels wonderful, this feels… right' I thought happily, as I smiled. _

'_I guess it's not my imagination after all. I really am in love with Arthur Kirkland. The most amazing guy in the world… And he loves me back.'_

**OWARI**

**Well hope you enjoyed the story.**

**I may make an epilogue.  
****Genießen Sie**


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